Old Friends - 2 / ( 4 )
Oh boy. I don t know where to start with the commentary on this one.
Lets go to the first line. Professor Mukoshi. His name is derived from Mokushi, which can mean aim at, sight, spot... or apocalypse. When i was younger I was so in love with the word apocalypse that I named characters after that. They were literally called Hans, Franz, Bob und Apocalypse. I am kidding. Not Hans Franz and Bob. Probably more... Hanß, Franfran and labob or something. Because I am a master of disguise.
Ok. So. I simply remembered the japanese word for Apocalypse wrong, that s why its professor Mukoshi not Mokushi... Mokushi sounds weird to my ears.
His first name also has a meaning but we ll get to that once it is mentioned.
I feel that I got everything into this page that I had in the script. Its one of the most rewritten chapters. Since its a calm talking chapter with tons of characterisation and set up, i wanted to keep it way shorter than i had it originally. its probably cut by half and many things had to go for it. While i do have the important points in and show what i mean, its not half as pronounced.
Let me point out things that are important to me but not important to get the storyline.
Schrödinger enters and actually spends quite some time rummaging around when Mukoshi doesnt answer. She s super nosy and intrigued - usually she doesnt have time to go through private things. Also... where to start in a hoarder room.
She also didnt expect that somebody as important as Mukoshi would actually have time and is sad to see that.
When she doesnt stop snooping around, he interrupts her by offering her something to drink. Mukoshi is a very polite person. He d never throw somebody out. But schrödinger was about to find something he d rather keep private. You ll find out at the end of the chapter.
Schrödinger really regrets not having a drink. She enjoys whiskey but only off duty. She actually cant remember when she was off duty the last time. (Probably the time she had to take off right between this scene and the last time we saw her to heal off her rib and broken nose.) There is a picture of her in veitstanz TV oevre, where the Lady observes Schrödinger on a couch - whisky and meds next to her head.
Schrödinger is not an alcoholic. She just enjoys the occasional binge.
Mukoshi is not just polite, he s also melodramatic and poetic, which you cannot tell from this page and most of his flowery dialogue had to be cut. Also... he doesnt trust Schrödinger at all at the moment - he s reserved. But when he talks about the city built upon cursed ground, Schrödinger really empathizes and agrees. It would be such a simple explanation for something as annoying as the criminal side of Mavergate.
Where the Lady is diving in head first right now.
So this page starts with schrödinger being neutral, then nosy, then empathetic towards Mukoshi.
and of course I managed to get all those details into the page.
Sometimes, if i have trouble with a chapter and writing good dialogue I write all the subtext down. Exactly what the characters want to say and to imply. Especially somebody like mukoshi who is very polite and indirect.