Old Friends - 3 / ( 8 )

Commentary Since Schroedinger learnt that Laurel died, she tries to reconnect with the Lady and fails. Worst case in her mind would be that L was killed and disappeared, too. To keep L safe, she never inquired, how she hid Laurel and herself and now... can t reach her. I maybe should have shown this - how Schroedinger fails to contact her. Then again, since the corruption seeps deep through the FBI and Schrödinger and L know this already, Schrödinger might prevent even herself from having a direct line and only let L contact her, which she apparently hasn t done. The only other human person that seemed to have known her was this professor, who once was reknown and now vegetates in this musty apartment.
I shortened this dialogue significantly as well. In the very beginning Mukoshi and Schrödinger were instantly on the same Page and making witty jokes - or what i as writer think was somewhat witty... - the only tension coming from Mukoshi trying to figure out, if he can trust Schrödinger. Back then he was melancholic and stuck but not depressive. For a long time i had mukoshi down as a genius that gave up his path and went into... grafiting nihilistic cryptic messages all over Mavergate and doing on his own what the lady does with a team. But where the lady is destructive, Mukoshi is poetic and whimsical. or was. his role has massively changed. Hes much more antagonistic towards Schrödinger at the beginning and his mental illness did not develop through the lady, it probably always was there but his research and hard work distracted him until he stepped back and saw the bigger picture and couldnt handle it - other factors contributed.
The CIA line still is sort of a joke. not really funny.. but... well, the delivery... right now mukoshi is depressed enough to welcome death and since its the only thing he muses on, he instantly thinks that this is, why Schrödinger is here. In the previous drafts schrödinger actually jokes around here, cracking some not very comments - but she s sensitive enough not to hack into somebody this desperate and needs his trust.
Still - that facepalm panel is a relic on - great, did not expect to have to deal with THIS, too. But she makes the right choice and offers Mukoshi empathy and help.

Oh god, that speech bubble with your former research associates. I needed to show, what steps Schrödinger already took, how she tried to find him, that nobody knows Mukoshis current state - he was a beloved teacher and researcher so i found it had to be shown, why he isn t taken care of. He worked on something big and revolutionary that many people wanted to see finished and were involved with. He obviously hid from his former life - but not as well as L. Schrödinger thought this would be a routine thing - just inquiring quickly at this professors guy if he remembered L, who formerly worked for him. But then she gets into a whole other case of mental breakdown. Lucky her. Cases everywhere she goes. Well, it just is really important that Mukoshis old doors are still open to him. He didn t quit in the traditional sense and its important that people will forgive him for this so he can become an active and not just passive information-giver in the story.

YOU WANTED AN ESSAY DIDN T YOU. i am so sorry. I have this lingering feeling that i forgot to write down what i really had to cut and hated to have to cut from this page : X

Just imagine if that whole scene would have happened with the Lady. I d probably be over by the third panel.